Payment for relieving the shopping (wauri)
During the visit the visitors will have already done some shopping, these will include maize flour, wheat flour, sugar, rice soap, cooking oil, a bunch of bananas etc and by the time the gate is opened the visitors are already tired. In order for them to be relieve of those items, they will have to give some money which is called (wauri). This money will be given to ladies on the bride’s side so that they will share amongst themselves. The girl’s mother will not get anything from here since she will not be anywhere near the gate. It is assumed that the mother should be somewhere laboring to give birth to this girl.
Selecting the wife from many ladies (gucagura muka wake)
Once inside they are ushered to a tent whereby after the usual welcome food is served. Serving tables are cleared and the Actual occasion starts. Then a few ladiesmaybe fifteen enter the house, they are tied from head to toe with sheets (lessos) and then divide into three groups each comprising five. The first group is then called outside and the husband is asked to select his wife thereby being careful not to pick somebody else wife because there will be a penalty for that. In case the wife is not in the first lot, the second group is called and the husband does selection if wife not there the last group will be called and the husband will pick on his wife to the applaud of the congregation. Husband unties the lessos and then matches with her forward to the high table with a lot of jubilation (ngemi) from the crowd.
Cutting the Shoulder (Gutinia kiande)
The wife and the husband will change to the kikuyu traditional attire and the master of ceremony for cutting the shoulder might also change or not depending on
whether he is a professional. The shoulder to be cut is then put on a traditional basin and placed on the table for all to see.The Master of Ceremony will then ask the husband to cut the shoulder and he will be assisted by the wife who will hold it.
Once he succeds in cutting it the Mc will tell him in front of the crowd that even if the wife gives birth to a child even if not belonging to the husband, he will take care of that child. The husband will answer in the affirmative though not happy while doing so.
Eating the ears (Kuria matu)
The husband will also be asked to give the wife some ears from the slaughtered goat to eat and while eating he will ask her to
eat them so that she will have ears to hear him whenever he calls her.
Likewise the wife will do the same to the husband. Other women who happens to be agemates of the wife will also eat ears together with the wife so that they will be reminded of the importance of listening to their husbands.
Taking porridge (gukundania ucuru)
Once through, the next step will be to give the husband porridge (gukundio ucuru). About five men accompanied by their wives will be called upon to come and sit at the front chairs so that they will also be given porridge by their wives. Here the wife will first polish the husband’s shoes, comb his hair, cut his nails and then wrap him a towel at the front to act as a baby feeder all through trying to soothe him so that he may accept taking the porridge that will be given by the wife.
Porridge will then be put in a calabash by the maids who will then hand it over to the wife to feed the husband. In most cases the husband will refuse to take it and twist the neck to face the other side. Here the wife will most likely give him a present so that he agrees to take the porridge. All this time the wife is holding it. Once he agrees to take it the other five men follow suit and they are also fed by their wives. From there other guest will take the porridge.
On the process while visitors are still taking the porridge some people from both sides will enter the house to go and give some dowry which will mark the end of the dowry even though in Kikuyu we normally say uthoni nduthiraga (dowry is never finished).
This is because if as a husband you are blessed you will continue giving or else assisting your in-laws even though you know too well that what you were meant to give for dowry you have already given.
The grooms parents then fixes a day when they will visit the brides home and both parents agrees on the day. The grooms side will cater for all the expenses ie food and drinks. The visitors from the grooms side visits the boma (homestead) from where after the usual welcome food will be served.
Certification of kikuyu wedding (Kuheo certificate ya kuguraria)
Immediately after cutting the shoulder the mc will then call upon the couple and give them the certificate which he will read out the number and announce that the girl has been married in a kikuyu traditional wedding and no man should dare joke with her.
Giving dowry (kuingira kuracia)
Later, some close family members of both parties will be shown a separate place where they will negotiate and give the dowry. Once inside the house the mc from the girls side will ask the visitors to introduce themselves and say the reason as tto why they have come visiting. The Mc will answer by saying that they got a flower from this home and it has proved to be alright no wonder we are coming back. The visitors will then be asked to give what they have and after giving will also give money for beer, sodas for women as well as lessos. They will also be asked to produce the towel for dusting the sodas and also an opener (gikunuro na opener). All this should be in form of cash.
The master of ceremony from the brides side will then call the girl and ask her if her father should accept that beer (njohi) and soda and after agreeing (ngemi) will be said which will be three for the girl. All will be given the sodas to share and lessos will also be left for ladies to share amongst themselves. The visitors will be given back a crate of beer as a sign of appreciation (gucokia guoko). after all is said and done guests leave at their leisure.
Story Prepared By:
Grace Mwangi, Librarian,Institute of Primate Research